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your smile fades in the summer
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| *Test Journal* |
[28 Feb 2004|05:19pm] |
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dude, this is now my test journal. i decided to do this so I wouldn't mess up my other one with all my layout testing.
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| new journal |
[23 Dec 2003|08:49pm] |
yes, that's right, I made a new lj. ::tear::
brennie_x0 <- new journal
add it now
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| what would it take to make you see that I'm alive? |
[05 Dec 2003|03:26pm] |
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mood |
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UNWANTED |
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music |
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the trouble w. love is- kelly clarkson |
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hmm. well I haven't updated this thing in a while. I think the problem is that I forget I have it sometimes. anywho, I don't really know what to say. I'm still going through the "I suck at life" phase, however it has not been as bad lately. I dunno whats wrong with me. I honetly don't know whats going on with me. I'm like chronically depressed, except for I don't really let anyone know. I just don't think talking about it will make things better. In other news, my feelings for *him* keep getting stronger everytime I see him, which really doesn't help the whole "I suck at life" thing. why? you might ask.. well because he likes someone else.. yup, how did I not see that coming? well either way...I didn't. I wish I had the courage to tell *him* how I really feel. I just wonder if it would do me any good. most importantly, I don't want to hate myself anymore. for those of you reading this, it's not a cry for help. I just want to know where I belong in this world. God I'm such a LOSER! well w.e.. I'm done here.
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| hey |
[29 Nov 2003|10:00pm] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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none |
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hey hey hey
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| wh0o0a |
[24 Nov 2003|09:36pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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x`tina- the v0ice within |
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wh0o0a.. i havn't updated in quite some time now. I guess I'm just lazy. oh well. your loss, my gain. well as you know last thursday was the taking back sunday/saves the day show at the palladium. it was AMAZING. absolutely AMAZING. anyways thats about all i get into about what I missed. Lately I've been kinda down on myself. I can't figure out what I like about myself. I just keep thinking about how much I suck at life and that nothing anyone says is gunna change that. no, this is not an act to get your sympathy. so if you are thinking that please stop now. because believe me when i say, the last thing i want is pity or sympathy from anyone. I don't need people to feel sorry for me when I already feel sorry for myself. I just feel that I can't win.. and that nothing I do is good enough. and that nothing I do will ever be good enough for anyone or anything. well I think I'll end the assault on myself there. If you love me you'll comment and tell me what you love about me. :O)
x0x0 *Brennie
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| w00t w00t |
[16 Nov 2003|09:28am] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
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music |
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rapid hope loss- dbc |
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the TBS concert is it T-minus 4 days fawkerz` lol. I can't freaking wait. :O) be there or be square :O)
xxxo*
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| ehh.. |
[06 Nov 2003|03:09pm] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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music |
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feelin' this- blink 182 |
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yesterday I missed the bus so I was banned from the computer for the day..*sadness :O(* nothing really all that great happened yesterday.. except for I watched the O.C.. it is like one of the greatest shows on television now.. besides one tree hill, and degrassi. but that goes without saying. :O) so yeah today...firecrotch finally got what was coming to her! except for I dunno how much it sank in cuzz she's a dumbhead like that. o0oh and in bio, me&Lis, and the teacher we're talking cuzz she was helping us on our lab..and we brought up birthdays.. and parites.. and cupcakes. it was cool, and then.. whoa... the teacher is offered a cupcake by a student passing them around. it wasn't cool cuzz we were just stating how much we wanted cupcakes.. and then bam! she told me&Lis to stay after and she let us split the cupcake!!! that was cool! and well the rest of the day I kind of wish didn't happen. I don't really feel like going into too much detail about it.. so I wont. just know that it was very awkward. oh and also, my favorite boy toy wasn't in school today :O( and that made me sad. well hopefully he'll be there tomorrow, so he can brighten up my day, and so that my eyes can indulge in a lot of candy.
<3Bodaci0us Br3n *xxxo
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| o0oh chad michael murray.. you are s0o0 fine =] |
[04 Nov 2003|08:14pm] |
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mood |
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 restless |
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music |
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yellowcard- way away |
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ok let me start off by saying.. that *he* is so0o damn fine! if only i had enough balls to make *him* mine. it's that damn fear of rejection! WTF is up with that?? why do I have to be so damn shy?? blaaaahh. :O\ and why do I let the way I am dictate the fun I have? well moving on.. Taking Back Sunday in T-minus 16 days! wo0o0o ho0o0o!! :O) which reminds me.. I really need to get a ticket.. I hope they still have them..*crosses fingers* what else to talk about??
PinkPrincess x0x: what can i write about in my journal?
Lucious Liipz: how much u hate firecoooches n love me
well there you have it folks..a topic! I really hate firecrotch! she talks waaaay too much shizzle for her own good. don't know who I'm talking about? just look for the annoying fuck who's always running her mouth! haha...and also I would like to state how much i love my LiSsErBeTh!! she is so0o cool. :O) she is one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world!!
so lets talk some more about school. well what can I say about it? besides that it's school. so I'm no longer gunna talk about school...
I have decided that in the past 5 minutes that I am no longer gunna let my shyness or fear of rejection hold me back! and if nothing comes out of it, at least I know I tried, and that's the next best thing. :O)
well I'm gunna go indulge in some degrassi viewing.
xxxo*
<3 me
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| ugh |
[03 Nov 2003|11:36pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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music |
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Taking Back Sunday :O) |
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I want a boyfriend.. like I really want one! I have 4 prospects, but I'm afraid to go after them cuzz I know I won't get them. I mean honestly, what the hell is wrong with me? I've thought long&hard and I still can't figure it out! maybe if I were prettier I would get what I want.. or it would give me more confidence to try to work hard to get it. ahhh I just can't freaking win and it's driving me up a wall. but what can I do? nothing! because I am too damn shy! so I'll sit back and watch what I want work for the things they want, which won't be me cuzz I am who I am. and apparently that's not good enough for people.
xxxo*
<3 me
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| wo0oho0o |
[03 Nov 2003|10:29pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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music |
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degrassi.. it's on TV man |
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hey! I had a semi-go0d day for just being at school. I like these four kids, and I saw all of them today so my day just got a little bit brighter! lol, I`m not gunna say who they are.. for the sheer fact that people at my school could read this, and with my luck..it will be the people who like to run their mouths. lol so other than that, my day was OK. I am now having a discussion about Degrassi with my oh-so-cool friend named Kateri. I am also thinking about how I owe a lot of people money. I'm so poor I owe myself money. I mean seriously.. $15 to Linda for a battle of the bands ticket, $17 to Jess for makeup that I ordered through her from Avon. Then there's the fact that I still have to buy a ticket to the Taking Back Sunday concert. LOL..I freaking love Taking Back Sunday..they rock my socks! :O) well enough about me..how the fuck are you? LOL...well I'm gunna end it there while I'm in a good mood! ttyl <3Bodaci0us Br3n *xxxo
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